Top 3 of the women's european championships road race at the podium (from left to right: Elisa Balsamo, Lorena Wiebes and Daria Pikulik).
Saturday 14/09
Pretty early on Saturday morning (7.45), me and my dad got in the car and left for Hasselt. While we were driving there, I got the honor again to talk about cycling and Lotte Kopecky on Belgian radio*! Talking for lots of people about Lotte is one of my favorite things to do, so that wasn't something they had to ask me twice.
Then I made a quick stop at the finish to see the men's junior pass by twice before jumping on my ebike and riding to the start in Heusden-Zolder. Sadly, we did some extra km because Google Maps doesn't know it's way very well around Heusden-Zolder and Hasselt.
I arrived at the velodrome around 11 a.m., and surprising enough, I was one of the first ones there. So I had enough time to visit the toilet and claim my digital flanders classics goodiebag, which resulted in winning a Lotte Kopecky signed picture and a discount on her collection. Finally found an excuse to order that LOKO hat... ;-)
After waiting for a bit, it was finally time for the team presentation. I enjoyed it very much. The realisation this was probably the last time I saw Christine Majerus and Audrey Cordon Ragot racing a little less.
After we watched the start, we rode back to the finish and waited for the riders to pass by. During the waiting, I got interviewed* again, this time by TV Limburg. :-) It's very funny how they always pick me; I don't mind because the more they interview me, the more chances I get to make clear how strong Lotte Kopecky is!
Around 5.30 pm we got the expected bunch sprint won by the expected riders, hats of Lorena Wiebes! Quickly after, I went to the podium and got some Indian food before heading to our mobile home we rented for the weekend.
Me on TV Limburg
Sunday 15/09
It takes sunshine and rain to make a rainbow - Roy T. Bennett
When getting up on Sunday, I immediately felt my energy was pretty low. But I tried to ignore it as well as possible because something in me thought it might get better as the day evaporates. So I went and saw the women's junior race; I even saw the first three passages of the elite men, but then my body was just empty. From one second on another, I just couldn't function anymore. Sitting, eating, dealing with all the noise, and even breathing felt too hard. At first it's a really scary feeling, but then you think back at what you did yesterday and the realization hits you: you caused yourself to flare up. That moment, your heart just snaps in a million pieces, because even though you didn't say it out loud, you know there's only one thing you can do. Look for any energy that's left in your body, gather it, and use it to get to the car as soon as possible. The tears kept rolling down my face that moment, because I just couldn't accept the fact I had to miss out on another thing I love this week because of CRPS. The drive home was okay; I tried to sleep; I put my phone off so I wouldn't be confronted with what I had to miss out on. It's when I got home that I got that reality check, and the emotions really hit me hard.
For you, who's reading this now, it probably sounds banal, because why would you get so sad about needing to leave a cycling race earlier? It was the best choice, right? Health always comes first!
But it's way deeper. Cycling has always been'my medicine.' There's almost always something going on. Isn't it a race where I am? It's one on TV. Isn't there a race on TV? There's a whole community ready to talk about the latest transfer news or the weird tactical decisions that have been made. Going to cycling races and cheering for Lotte Kopecky is really my safe place; it's where I don't feel judged by others, and I really feel at my place. There I'm just a girl who tends to be extremely nervous when her favorite rider is riding, who is very protective if it comes to nasty comments about women's cycling, and just doesn't give a fuck about anybody else and does what she loves.
So the moment when CRPS intrudes there and also ruins that one thing I can truly be myself while doing so, it breaks my heart and everything around it.
So I think you can understand better now how I feel and how this will take some time to process mentally. Though I didn't really talk about the physical part here, that's something I can't forget either. I will probably be in more pain than usual (yes, usual, because there's never a moment I'm not in pain.), be extra exhausted, and struggling with heavy headaches for the next few days. Is it fun? No! But at least it helps me to appreciate the beautiful and nice things more. Suffering from CRPS is horrible, unfair, and frustrating, but it helps you to realize how amazing it is to be completely happy, Because after all, it takes sunshine AND RAIN to make a rainbow! <3
Me on Sunday, a few hours before I had to leave
*Listen here to me on MNM: https://photos.google.com/share/AF1QipPnZvnlYmQf_Om3ZPBX5xQNBEq0Qry7TSDl3ZsDuj3NU1JEcD24Yni7GZF93Ew2vQ?key=dEM4bWk2SURncWo3YjJCbE1STmVEUXdxVzVjYnd3
*Watch the full reportage from TV Limburg including an interview with me here: https://www.tvl.be/nieuws/hasselt-is-intussen-warmgedraaid-voor-grote-ek-dag-morgen-170918
If you came this far, thank you for taking your time; I appreciate it very, very much. I know this was a very personal blogpost, but while I was writing it, I just discovered a new way to process my feelings. I hope you have no regrets about visiting my site and checking my blog post out!
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See you! <3
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